Caps lock on, caps lock off.

I asked these people here at this strange bankish type place to hire me for a 6 month contract and thereby usurp my temp agency. Har! Will it come to be? Will I be making a crazy per hour rate shortly? Will I be wiley enough to hide it from the student loan robots?

I've been calling apartments endlessly. Just spoke to a very insane woman. While merely trying to inquire a few details about her advertised place for rent I got the entire story of a problem tennant who is meant to be taking drugs for her psychiatric problems but refuses and has a dog with dysplasia??!! who pees itself in the apartment but she won't put it down until the 5th anniversary of her husband's death. Also, apparently she sits (just typo-ed shits. shitting in her car would truly be eccentric.)in her car and plays the radio loud, smokes pot (she whispered the word pot as it is so shocking and repeated it to make sure I understood," pot!") on the balcony. I thanked her for her honesty and proceeded to mark a very big X through the ad.

There is a woman here at work, my slave master I guess, although I hardly slave; I sort of leisurely task. Anyway, (let's call her Rocco) she always speaks very sweetly on the phone to people and then before the receiver is even fully back on the hook, she is swearing like a sailor at them. She really comes up with some great stuff. Fuckshits being my favourite so far. She talks like a new york cab driver. Eg: "How does this letter sound? Dear Dinks, in regards to the discrepancy yadayadayada, bunch of bullshit and uhhhh, whatever, some other stuff, the end Go to hell."

Then co-worker# 2, let's call her Cerealbar, replies with: "WHA??" Which she is always saying because she is deaf in one ear. Sometimes she yells it out of the blue or even if you just walk by her.

In the past few minutes alone I've heard Rocco and her visiting-from-Chicago counterpart talk about velvet elvis, penis piercings, being too fat to wear tanktops and have short hair and how much Rocco reminds Chicago of Chicago lady's old aunt Dora. What a compliment conisdering Rocco can't be older than 40!

I have to stop eating all the shitty candy I bought for myself. On a whim I thought it might be fun to have candy at work so I grabbed a handfull of the various bulk kind that you'll find in your grandmother's living room candy dish. Each one is unpalatble in it's own unique way. Banana "toffee" which was more like a hardened, slighty chewy marshmallow that disintigrates like dust in your mouth. They should adopt that as their product hook line. And rum flavoured toffee. Why? How about gin muffins or vodka yogurt?