Victor!

As in winner, not the guy name.

So I threw another damn party that I couldn't tell you all the perils of planning because it was a surprise party for T and he reads this blog. Anyway, here are the photos:


Turned out pretty good if I may say so myself and I may, because this is my blog and I rule. Let's just leave it at that because I got 5 hours of sleep last night and I'm cranky as hell.

Koo koo for Iceland

With very little to do at work, I fell back on my standard daydream of planning a trip to Iceland (someday...someday.) I fond these beautiful pictures from this woman's flickr page here

I just love everything about the look of this place. I don't just want to visit, I want to live there. I want to learn Icelandic and wear wool all year round and have sheep in my backyard and drink hot cocoa while watching the northern lights and swim in aqua blue spring water and smell the spring from the mountains and watch the starlight twinkle on the snow in the glow of a fire in winter...

Longing. LONGING!

Iceland, originally uploaded by LiseMac.

And this will be my house.

More Iceland

Blue Lagoon, originally uploaded by LiseMac.

Here! I want to go here!

Still more.

Gullfoss, originally uploaded by LiseMac.

Recent crops

Recent crops, originally uploaded by monsterteeth.

Ya, getta load of this rad crop of vegetables, grown by my very own self. Tasty and satisfying. Makes you feel like you are some kind of genius! Whoever planted the first garden must have felt pretty damn cool.
What I imagine happened back then:
"Hey, check it out old-timey friends. I discovered gardening. You can totally put seeds in the ground and stuff you can eat grows out of it ,if you water it. Let's party!"
"Wow, those edible plants and vegetables you grew are so rad. I want to party with you!"

"It feels so queer when you are near, dear."

Man, it has been raining like tears from a kitten's eyes, a kitten that's really sad and cries all week from a cloud above Montreal. So far, this summer, only twice have I longed for an air conditioner at our place. That's good isn't it? Reminds me of a Tiny Tim song (any of his songs instantly put me at 4 years old, sitting directly in front of the speaker, staring staring staring at the album cover while it played.)



Anyway, it reminds me of him singing: "The ice caps are melting, ho, ho, ho-ho. All the world is drowning ho-ho, ho-ho, ho-ho."

Elsewhere, in the life of me, I finally got something out of one of Montreal's excessive(and I do mean excessive) number of festivals. Bob and David, yes THE Bob Odenkirk and David Cross of Mister Show fame hosted an evening of sketch comedy during the Just for Laughs festival. I wish I could have taped it somehow, it was extremely funny. There were 4 or 5 acts and every single one of them was incredibly funny. I even had some eyes tearing, doubled over in pain, oh my god make it stop moments which are, I dare say, hard to come by. I won't bother trying to describe the acts but let me just say a new catchphrase I will be incessantly uttering is : "You can't smell that?!!! Smells like pepper!". Perhaps, next time I see you in person, I will explain further.

Or not.

Pride and Prejudice and Jello or "I think that it's catching on, I'll move out to Saskatchewan."

Leave it to Joel Plaskett to write a lyric rhyme for Saskatchewan.

Oh lord. Earlier today, I walked in on one of the bosses around here, in a compromising position in the ladies room. First of all, let me mention that she is a type A sort of lady. Always on her phone telling people what to do, always impeccably dressed, "fashionably" underweight and unashamed of telling her 14 year old daughter that she is screwing up because she is not losing weight on her diet. A real piece of work.

So, as I was saying, earlier today, I charged into the washroom with my usual, deliberate manner and found, in the reflection of the mirror, Boss lady, staring at herself in the mirror with dress lifted up above her waist. Whether her self-regard was of a nature of admiration or admonishment, I cannot say. Either way, I skipped the pleasantry of greeting her and just headed on past into the stall. She hadn't enough time to react to being caught and therefore left promptly without a word. What could there have been for either of us to say? Except for me maybe saying "See anything good?" or whistled "Whit wooo!"...

I have officially become interested in Austen's Pride and Prejudice as of today. At first, I thought to myself: "It may not be in my disposition or stile to chuse reading this annoying example of George III english, nitwit society hoo haa." Then I got caught up in the damn thing. Elizabeth just stuck it to that bastard Mr. Darcy after his arrogant and insulting proposal and, I dare say, will find a way to shame all involved for their deceit of Jane. Uh huh. AND, now I can't stop speaking in the manner of these characters.

Just now, again in the bathroom (all the good stuff happens there) another colleague of mine, to whom I am not entirely well-disposed, entered the washroom rapidly as I was reaching across her path for my toothbrush. "My apologies to you for barring your way." I said. She gave me a weird look and threw her bag on the counter as she rushed for the stall. As her bag fell, she called out, "Just leave it on the floor." to which I replied, "Nonsense, I will retrieve it with pleasure." I hardly speak to these people at work and when I do open my mouth, it is only to say things of this nature. It amuses me so.

I am too affected by what I absorb. I am what worries Tipper Gore. Don't hear much about that crazy lady these days do ya? Unless you happen to be dining with Jello Biafra. I imagine his rampage against her is ceaseless. That's what I imagine when I imagine Jello Biafra. That and him flying a kite.

PS: I just sent off an email request to the americans to open an account for some business in Saskatchewan except, when writing the address, I called it Sasquatchewan to see if they would notice. Hee hee. I DO find myself awfully funny...

gaylord on high

Sonia wins 3RD Place. They had a last second eff up and their sub did not perform as well as in the qualifying runs, but even functioning at less than its best, they won 3rd place out of 28 teams beating MIT and Cornell. So congratulations to S.O.N.I.A. Anyway, now T is on lists, American lists and they have come hunting for his fresh talent, sniffing like dogs for tasty meat.

I'm on lists too. Lists of people who suck! Ha ha ha....heh....hm.

Meanwhile, while T has been exercising his talents and forging a career, I have been watching epsiodes of Northern Exposure and must admit that I am ridiculously pleased to be doing so. I basically want to live in that tv show and if that makes me a gaylord on high then so be it. If only quirky little towns really were full of super cool, eccentrics and not small-minded, conservative dinks.

Seriously though, I get up to a little more than fuck all during my time alone. Why heck, my garden is growing kick ass. I have yellow beans and tons of lettuce now that I have erected an inpenetrable verminator fence. Peppers and peas, zuchinni and spinach, I am obsessed. I get up a half hour early to have time to water and admire my garden and think about it during the day. Coo-coo.

I also forced myself to sit down with a damn pen and some ink and draw fer christ's sake. It's been a while and I discovered I have some odd things coming out of my brain and onto the page but I'm really enjoying it. Perhaps I will scan and post for your perusal into the mind of yours truly. Might as well do something with them right? Am I right? Oh YA!

Handy or not so handy tips.

You know how there are certain bits of information, sometimes useful, sometimes utterly trivial, that stick with you and come up over and over again?

1: How to tie a square not- Right over left and under, left over right and under.
-Learned from girlguides, aged 10. I use this at least once a week.

2: When you jump or run, you bleed a little into your "hipcups".
(Still a little vague about this grotesquely named body area, but I have a vivid image of what I think it looks like. Bones, cup-shaped, holding your hip bones which end in a ball shape that fits into the "cups", small pools of blood inside the "cups". Why do I find the word "cups" so disgusting. I can't even print it without quotation marks as my typographic representation of cringing.)
-Learned this from Mr. Pierson, my insane gr.9 science teacher. I think of this at least once a month after running for the train or jumping down a few steps.

3: Count elephants after a lighting flash until the thunder happens to know how many kilometers away the storm is.
-Everyone knows this one. I used this prolifically as a child. I really preferred to self-soothe as a kid and found science to be extremely comforting. I still think of this trick during thunderstorms, but I don't count anymore.

I had more but I won't remember them until they come up again. What are yours?

Here's another list because I'm feeling listy today?

Songs that instantly bring you back to being a kid. A young kid. A not even started school yet kid.

1: Nightflight to Venus- Boney M
2: Saturday Night- Bay City Rollers
3: Reflections- Leo Sayer
4: You Don't Have to Call Me Darling- David Allen Coe
5: Anything by ABBA. I have the album images burned into my brain. The one where they are sitting on the park bench- The red-haired one in black, knee-high, leather boots and a white shawl, the blond-haired one in blond suede, knee-high boots and denim and she looks sad, it's autumn and the leaves are all around them.
6: Cover of the Rolling Stone- Dr. Hook.

What are yours?

I swear too much.

Title says it all.

Dr. Friggin Snuggles!

Ya! Dr. Snuggles. My favourite cartoon of my youth is on youtube. Get your ass to this link now and appreciate! Seriously, a Dutch cartoon with the voice of Peter Ustinov and writers such as the great Douglas Adams (RIP) can NOT go wrong and on top of it all, it has the best fucking music, ever in a cartoon, ever. Now excuse me, while I kiss the sky.

I know I've used that line before but it's always funny to me.

Gin and tonic voodoo

So last week, I had to do double duty as the receptionist was on holiday. I very nearly decapitated someone with a letter opener. At least, I thought strongly about it. I told one of the couriers, who made a couple of visits per day, to just throw anything else that came for us in the garbage. He laughed and I said, "I'm not kidding." and he said, "I just can't do it." and I thought, ya, go smoke some more pot, bike courier man, before I stab you for bringing me more work. I thought it but it would have been a special brand of funny to have said it.

The receptionist is back now, and I feel like laying gifts at her feet. Even when she comes to tell me she has to make a "pit stop" which for her, means going to "tinkle" but to me, conjures images of her re-applying deodorant...I will just be glad she is not on holiday anymore.

The T is over the clouds somewhere between Montreal and Colorado right now. He only left last night but already I miss the mister. He will be touching down in Denver and then back up into the skies, San Diego bound. It's competition time and I think, if they don't win first place this year, they may all spontaneously combust from misery. These chaps have been forgoing the necessities of life, such as sleeping and eating (the single ones still found some time for beer and casual sex though) for the past 6 months to make their autonomous underwater vehicle rad enough to take top prize. So chant some voodoo or drink a gin and tonic in the bathtub or whatever ritual you think might help and send them some kick ass vibes. C'mon, they deserve it!

I miss Tennessee but it's not all bad. I will enjoy the house staying immaculately clean and being able to eat cereal and cherries for dinner and stuff like that. In 9 days he will return triumphant I am sure.

Meanwhile, I am tracking his flight because I have a little stalker in me and because airplanes are evil things! If I track it, with sheer mind power I can keep it in the air and make it safely take-off and land. Mind power and satan of course!

Would I fuck that out?

Like the title says: This is what I wondered, in exaspertation to myself after making the same little mistakes several times over, "Would I fuck that out?" It's a hybrid of -would I cut that out and would I fuck off. So there ya go.