I am the official owner of a ticket to California. A jet plane ticket don't you know. I only hyper-ventilated for 3 days before and after the purchase of said ticket. My heart rate is almost less than that of a pig in a frying pan now.
I don't adapt well to change. Easy and going are two words that are never used in consecutive order when describing me. I'm not sleeping in fact. I don't lie awake with specific worries, just a racing heart and a brain that keeps jerking me back to crouched, conscious readiness. Waiting to spring from attacking tigers or what have you. Useful when you are spending a night in a jungle but no so useful when tucked in to your queen sized Ikea bed and your alarm will be ringing in 2 hours and you've already been up for 3. Deep inhalation, deep exhalation...and tense up, I mean RELAX DAMN YOU! Not you, me...
Er, so anyway, I leave for Ontario in 2 weeks from which point I will then have 2 weeks to relax over christmas and new years and then fly fly fly and hopefully not die die die to California. I leave 2 WEEKS!!!!??? It's all a blur and I have accomplished nothing other than buying a ticket which is a good start I guess. Still have to pack, close up the house(drape everything in sheets like they do in the movies and put out mice, squirrel, raccoon, skunk and bison traps. I sure as shit don't want to come home to a colony of mice procreating on the floor and bison hanging out on the couch watching PBS (bison are a lot more cultured than you'd expect). I also have to ensure that my landlord won't slough off the duty of house checking onto my permanently stoned and drunk neighbour or the other morphine addicted neighbour. Not that I think substance abusers don't make great house sitters but...Actually I don't think they make great house sitters, or neighbours. And they hate me so...what was my point? My point is I'm paranoid about various issues and doing little about it. YES! Proactive!
Man, I don't know. I need to just chill out. I'm trying. I considered the old frying pan to the head the trick a couple nights ago but I think I'm working out some better ways. I hope.
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