Endorsing like a fox-marshmallows and bikinis.

Often, before work, I will browse in the drugstore on my way. It usually makes me 15 minutes or so late for work, but no one seems to ever mind. I take a different section each time and look at whatever is in it. There are a lot of strange things. Maybe I'll start a weekly feature of "what's frigged at the drugstore". So I'll start right now. In the "fancy" section, where they have exotically scented creams and candles and all that, there is a line of body mists by Calgon in food scents. One of them is marshmallow and it smells. exactly. like. marshmallows! I was very nearly tempted to buy it just for the sheer novelty of smelling exactly like a bag of freshly opened marshmallows. It would be funny to me, but maybe not so funny to all the people wondering who was hiding the stash of marshmallows. Probably, a lot of people would be getting the urge to go make a campfire. Does a roast weenie body mist exist? I think I'm convincing myself to buy the marshmallow in a can.

Vegan chocolate tip: Ritter Sport 50% Cocoa. It's awesome.

Christ, maybe I should be getting paid for all this product endorsement.

I bought a bikini yesterday. It was on sale so what the hell. I figure, I am an assault to the sensiblities in any kind of bathing suit so I might as well get a 2 piece. It seems to be a presuppostion that only hot-bodied gals get to wear bikinis and the rest of us should cover up in a one-piece with a garbabge bag of shame over our heads. Thing is though, a one-piece doesn't really do much hiding of anything. It's just like stepping into sausage casing and popping out some holes for your arms, legs and neck. It might squeeze all the middle in but then it just emphasizes your big fat legs. Or rather, it emphasizes my big fat legs. Also, who doesn't love that feeling like the bottom of your suit is trying to rid up your private zone, through your digestive tract and into to your sinuses, while the top of your suit tries to pull your shoulders down to your ankles. So fuck it. Bikini all the way. Doesn't stuff anything anywhere...let's it all hang loose and will probably slide right off as soon as I hit the water but what the hell. I'm just going to do a freebird with the bod. Lay it on the line. Know wot I mean?