Now that they have finally started selling my favourite hummus flavour in Quebec I am doomed. Doomed to eat it everyday and gain a trillion pounds and lose friends and family because I won't share. Get your own, this hummus is MINE.
The ongoing saga of: Will anyone actually show up at my party? is looking good. People have confirmed and unless it's some really elaborate, cruel joke, they are probably not lying. I know I'm not the only one with this pre-party paranoia. Mrs. Dalloway for starters. Maybe I should be worrying more about getting fresh flowers and mending my gown with the right coloured silks and whether the carpets should be rolled back further so the young people will have room to dance and court each other.
Instead I am worried people will revolt if I get the wrong kind of relish. Will everyone eat and then immediately want to go home? Can I FORCE people to play pictionary and if so, can I pit english versus french people? What will keep people happy and enjoying themselves? Chocolate? Gin and tonic? Calendars with nude women?
I do so want everyone to have a good time. Ever so much. Quite.
Moving on, I have done sweet, f-on-a-stick, all this week at work. Maybe 5% of my day is actually spent on working. The rest is on the good old internet that I'm sure is being monitored by the company, but what the hell right? I mean what in the christ else am I supposed to do?
It's not like I refuse to work. There's nothing to do! I don't smoke, I'm not sustaining an office flirtation, I don't have that bottle of whiskey and package of chocolate chip cookies hidden behind the soap dispenser under the sink in the bathroom to take nips out of throughout the day in the handicapped stall with my feet up on the toilet so no one can see and my iPod playing the Royal Tennebaums soundtrack. I wish I did. Instead, I will just have to fantasize about going on a date with Luke Wilson before he aquired the bloat. I like to think of him permanently as Richie Tennenbaum. Do you know how many times I've watched that movie? Me neither but alot is a good estimate. A lot.
You know, I had a dream last night where a wedding was being held and the bride's parents didn't show up because they had some sort of prejudice against someone there. One of the aunts stood up in the church and said on the topic of these nasty parents and their judgemental ways: "Auden said(WH Auden? I've never read him in real life!), 'To not hear is one thing, but to play deaf and blind is ----'" I forget the last word! It was a great quote! That aunt really stuck it to them with that quote and now I can't remember the end of it. In the dream, everyone stood up and clapped after she said it. She was saying that simple ignorance is one thing that perhaps can be corrected and forgiven, but actively applying prejudice is a choice and makes you a shit. Trying to end the quote has been driving me nuts all day. Any suggestions of how to end it? Anyone? Bueller?
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