the urge to miniputt

Does Dairy Queen soft serve contain dairy? Ech. Just typing it makes me want to puke.
Well, the answer is, yes it does my friends.

So I was on this regimen of no dairy or wheat and doing well for a month, thank you very much. Feeling better, less bloated, less searing stomach pain, blah blah blah. Anyway, took a road trip, had some dairy queen, spent the next day living in the bathroom. 2 days later and I'm still dealing with the after affects. I say it was the dairy and the first thing everyone, without exception(Except my sister) says: "I don't think Dairy Queen has any dairy in it." Everyone! No exceptions!(Except my sister. A real live vegan.).

Well, although it does contain alot more air and less milkfat than normal ice cream, Wikipedia and my bowels testify that there is dairy in that queen. What better source of information than my bowels, for example, could you reasonably hope for?

So there you go, don't say I don't learn you nuthin'.

Want me to go into explicit detail about what happened to my digestive tract?? Huh?? Do ya??

Okay, I will spare you just this once.

In addition to the road trip (we borrowed a car don't you know), we also spent an evening trying out suburban teenage fun. There we were, in our cottage in nowheresville, wondering what to do with ourselves and our new found vehicular freedom, when it suddenly became obvious to me: "A-bowling we must go!" And we did so.

In fact we went to a "funplex". Laval's finest. Glow bowling although for some reason, they gave us the last lane that had no black light specialness. Probably, they could smell the irony off of us. We sucked pretty bad but boy did we LOOK cool.

We had illusions of some fantastic mini-put golf course but alas, it was merely a room with a few bits of fake turf and some mounds of dirt and maybe a plastic chicken or something strewn about. Very sad. However, we did not cling long to our disappointment as there were abundant games to be played in the arcade.

Tried out Dance Dance revolution and was not surprised to confirm that I can not dance dance and would not, therefore, be helping out with the revolution. Then, tried a drumming game, complete with drumsticks and a full kit. Cost 2 bucks for about 5 seconds of play, I kid you not, because I sucked that bad. WOW do I ever lack in the ability to drum, especially along to japanese techno.

Thankfully, there was air hockey. Nothing like the old standards to make you feel comfortable and capable of victory. T, royally kicked my ass 30 thousand games in a row.

What a collection of people. You can imagine. Bepimpled teenagers plotting new ways to get boys or girls to "notice" them, obese, balding chain-smokers clad in black lycra with gold rings on each finger, baggy-eyed, haggard mothers, tuning out the screaming rage of their sugar-pumped sons as they primed themselves to drink an entire bottle of Baileys after their satan's spawn were in bed that night, etc.

Only problem is that I now have an unfulfilled urge to play a decent round or 2 of miniature golf.