Real fruit candy shells, and Bulgarian transvestites.

Why is Autumn the only season with a nickname?

So bored. Here's what I get up to at work.

Can you BELIEVE that shit? Wow. So modest. Modesty. Modestness. Baaaaarrrrffffffff.

I am back at work after having had a long weekend off to entertain my visiting parents and I am not happy to be back. Today feels like the longest, most excruciating day on record. T is in Washington this week so it'll be just me and some overpriced "natural" m and m type candy tonight. Actually, they are really superior. The coating is made from fruit dyes and flavours so it tastes like orange and cherry and the chocolate is just real chocolate. No car wax coating or petro chemical lubricants or whatever the hell. I'm sorry, they just are really good little candies. ANYWAY.

I went to the beach this weekend for the first time in years and years. It was great! Big long sandy beach, lots of trees for shade, all the crowd at the other damned end of the place and warm, shallow waters that extended way out into the lake. Hurrah! I used to live in the water from morning till evening when I was a kid and discovered I could still happily do the same. No pictures because I suck.

Har.

1 hour and 12 minutes left of work.

I also saw the penis of a Bulgarian transvestite singing star, but I didn't go looking for that. Honestly! Seriously and for real. Blame perez hilton.

1 hour and 8 minutes.

Let's see, I have to pee, that should take a good 2 minutes. I could stroll around for my 15 minute break- 17 minutes killed. Maybe make a cup of tea...I don't suppose I'll get up to anything actually proactive like looking for a new job or begining a masterpiece or doing bicep curls holding staplers as weights. I could stare out at the St. Laurent for a while and reflect on all the crap from people's toilets on Nun's Island being flushed directly into the river. The plumbers made a mistake and 8 years later, they realize it.

Scene: finishing touches on plumbing in condo, 1999:

"Hey man, I am baked like a ham. I know I got to connect these pipes somehow but I can't read the plans without all the lines coming off the page and climbing up my arm and trying to get into my brain through my nose holes."

"It's pipes for peoples shit? What can happen? Just connect it somewhere and it'll go there. Who cares!"

" What if I connect it, like, right back to where it came from into some kind of eternal loop, like the snake eating its tail and then like, there's this rift in the fabric of reality created by infinite shit and like, it totally rearranges the universe?"

"Lets go get some tacos!"

So they hooked it up and all the people's shit went directly into the river and we all lived happily ever after.

How in the christ, did somebody not notice this sooner?

Oh ya! 55 minutes and I haven't even taken my bathroom break of leisure yet. My life is rad.