It's called pissing OK?!!

I'm just going to make a pit stop. I'm just going to the little ladies room. I'm just going to the Ladies. I'm just going to powder my nose. I'm just going around the corner. WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME YOU ARE GOING TO PISS!! I would prefer it!

I'm just going to piss in the toilet. I have to piss like a race horse. I gotta piss out some piss into the piss hole from my piss hole. ANYTHING ELSE but what you tell me 10 times a day.

Here's the thing. It's the receptionist. I'm second in line to answer the door when she is gone so she has to call me to let me know each time she has to micturate(thank-you Big Lebowski for entertaining AND educating.). I cunnigly devised the plan for her, that she just call me and let it ring once and hang-up to indicate piss-time. I thought it would save me the cloying metaphors. Ha ha contre moi though! For some odd reason, she now feels compelled to physically swing past my desk now to let me know instead.

Hhhhhhh. That's my new aliteration for a resigned and mildly annoyed exhalation.

So this morning there was frost. Frosty frost on everything. I liked it. Sparkly and cold like frozen fairy land. Winter is here, oh yes indeed.

Tomorrow I will take some photos of the environ. Good for you! you say. Good for you too! Enriching, like hot vitamin chocolate. Why do they not make fortified, vitamin enriched, antidepressant, metabolism boosting hot chocolate?

Please, I beseech you, go read these insane movie scripts(that are really short) and share my joy. The debate is: were they written by someone THAT deliciously insane or are they just pure comic genius? You tell me! Just go here. To read more choose from the archives along the right-hand side of the page. Oh please someone else read them and enjoy with me! Here is a sample to wet your whistle:

"They fight around all these power tools and Napoleon wins but the guys boots don't fit so he sends the dead-corpse down the elevator (old-timey, made of wood and rope)with writing on his chest 'NOW I HAVE A MUSKET HO HO HO' and the terrorist leader is trying to act like he's all on top of it but he's shitting his old-timey pants(britches?)"

He's shitting his old-timey pants??!! (Britches?)!! If that does not make you laugh we can no longer be friends.

That is all.