Just sayin'...

I haven't written for ages. I don't have anything terribly new or groundbreaking to say about being a mom and I'm mostly too busy to hang out on the computer much. I did want to say this though:

There has been changes over the past year. Leon is growing, we live in a nice new place, T is finished working on his masters from home and is now happily at work in a workplace.

I'm a full on stay at home mom now. I wondered what it would be like. Even though T was working from home, he was still there and still available if needed. I wondered how I would do when it was just Leon and me all day. I've been doing it for a while now and I know now, what it's like.

It's like this: For the first time in my life, I am able to say that there is nothing, not one single thing in my wildest imagination that I would rather be doing. I think Leon is the most amazing, beautiful, incredible person in the history of time and I want to put it out there that I am incredibly grateful and appreciative of whatever circumstance of design or random luck that led me to what my life is now which is being with him, helping him learn about the world, watching him grow and learning who he is. Everyday is a revelation. Everyday I'm in love and I feel like the luckiest person on the planet.

I get tired waking up early, I wonder what to make for meals, I wonder what to do on rainy, hot or snowy days, I think sometimes that I might not be able to read Go Dog GO for the 8 millionth time, but I look at Leon's smile and his sparkling eyes and his little hand on my hand, guiding it down to the book and it's all so easy because I love him like crazy.

I can't keep life in a bottle so that nothing will ever change. Who knows what's to come. Right now is something I can and want to be in one hundred percent in a way that I've not really known before. It's a huge gift and this way of being in the present and loving someone so much is something that I hope Leon can have through his life.

He's so full of pure joy, just pure unadulterated joy for all the smallest things in life. He's full of pure trust and love. He's full of desire to learn and explore. And he is loved deeply. Being witness to these thing in Leon has changed how I see life. I can't really even say how lucky I feel about that.

So you see? Nothing said here is anything that hasn't been said before by mothers throughout history. What is new, is that it's me saying it and I'm glad to be able to.