Who's the real beyatch?

On the train this morning, a woman sat across from me with a walkman. I don't even mean discman, I mean walkman. Tape cassette player.

Now, I'm no music snob (I am) but C'MON! Tape??? I relished in the ease and convenience with which I could manipulate my ipod settings. She tried to hide her cassette player behind her bag. I smiled to myself, with satisfaction, at the voluminous choice of my personal music collection I had at hand. She glared defiantly at me as if daring me to call her on her inferior audio equipment.

Here's the thing though, she could have rocked that walkman. She could have paired it with some massive headphones and painted it with pink and black polka dots and carved "I love Bon Jovi" in the casing with a protractor and I would have been jealous. Jealous I tell you! But she didn't. She just sat stiffly, staring down at her lap, fiddling slightly with the volume dial, darting her eyes angrily up everyonce in a while to see if anyone was mocking her; her thin, pink, sparkly lips set in a grimace.

Why even bother? What could she possibly have cared to listen to? What is it with those sorts of people with their half-hearted music listening? I imagined it to be some sort of self-help tape. "How to Not Live Your Life Hating Every Moment of It." or "Failing at Everything?-You're Not Wearing Enough Make-Up Lady!" or "How to Get Married, Become a Manager, Give your Dog a Make-over and Get to Heaven for Less than a Dollar a Day." Something to that effect.

I'm being so hard on the lady.

Tomorrow: I will look out for some man to slander. It's all about the love.

But seriously folks, it's Halloween and I haven't even thought of what to get dressed up as. Maybe that's got something to do with the fact that I have nowhere to go even if I do. I could just sit around the house dressed up like a pineapple smoothy or Linus Van Pelt on a bad acid trip or Ernest Borgnine's Corpse but what fun would that be? I have no party to go to! Waahhh. I have no friends to start with, probably because I am such an arse. I could crash a party but I'm not hip to all the good spots in this town. I will stay home and perform voodoo instead. Like I do everyday. Same old, same old. Sleep, eat, work, do voodoo.